breegant:

This is a brief statement on my career aspirations that I wrote for an internship. Any critiques, edits, commentary would be much appreciated. Peace.

Straddling the fence between campus life and “real life” was really only distinguished by the communal all-nighters in the 24-hour…

Hello Honey. I hope my feed back helps.

For me, it seems as though your essay/statement starts here:

Being an artivist, or artist and activist, is a balance of fields that progress my passion and my community. I want to utilize my creative expression as a means of communicating, educating, and healing……

See my comments below in brackets.

Spreading imagery that not only appeals to the eye, but documents history, unifies cultures, and challenges the norm is what I strive to do. I am looking to immerse myself in a creative professional environment. [ Why this place, why this environment? What is special about the place that you are applying to? How can you make a contribution to what is already there?] There are so many facets to the industry [what industry?] . I would love to service this community of collaborators by facilitating educational outreach programs, assisting in communication and media relations efforts, and especially learn more about development. [Why?] Surrounding myself with the art and history of my culture—and those who have dedicated their lives to it—is necessary for the growth and fruition of my goals.

I hope this helps.

~R